“How on earth did they get me here?” C thought to herself. She was standing in a cleverly decorated tent in the back of what she refused to forget was a church feeling like a monkey in a submarine. Standing out was an understatement considering the outfit she had worn for this.
A month had passed since the accident and both Trish and George had made it a point to visit her every day since, and H was on the verge of convincing her to move out of her house. C should have known better the second Trish got so excited about her agreeing to come to this ‘event’ she was planning – turns out it was just another mixer for her church youth group and now here C was standing in the furthest possible corner in a little… as in need to sit down in five motions little black dress.
The stares she had gotten on arrival were enough to tell her how unwelcomed she actually was, people not knowing whether to greet her, rebuke her or avoid her altogether. She helped them come to a decision very quickly by avoiding all of them completely and finding the furthest place to run to. She had wanted to turn around immediately but she had come here with Trish who had asked to use her phone in the car as her phones battery was dead, a ploy she should have been akin to once Trish then ‘accidentally’ locked said phone in the car and then finally and oh so mysteriously ‘misplaced’ her car keys. If this wasn’t the definition of a setup then C didn’t know what was.
While trying to figure out how much cash she had in her bag and if she had seen any cabs on the road turning in, C’s ears peeked as she heard what had now become a familiar voice.
“Come on now, did ya’ll start the party without me?”
“Hey now, Pastors aren’t supposed to party George!”
Wait! What? Hold on here. C’s head was immediately spinning, it had been a while since she had taken hallucinogens but she was definitely feeling similar effects. George was a pastor? That made no sense at all. All hints of familiarity vanished immediately and now all she wanted was to run from this alien planet. She’d walk all the way home if she had to but there was no way she could stay in this suffocating environment anymore. C started with long unwavering strides out in the direction she remembered entering and just as she was about to exit a strong hand held her.
“Now C would you really leave without saying hello?” George with a feign hurt face blocked her departure.
“Am, well… hi” C was struggling for words, she had no idea how to talk to a pastor. Should she address him as sir or his holiness, wait was that only for a pope? And she was in his territory no less! Surrounded by a bunch of people who probably had this whole ‘being in the presence of a pastor’ thing down with their appropriate clothing and judgmental smiles. C did not want to get stoned, she heard that’s what could happen if you got church people angry.
“I’m glad that you came” Georges bright smile holding firm.
“Well let’s just say that I was misled here”
“Oh Trish, she’s always got another trick up her sleeve”
“Should’ve guessed” C mumbled.
“But it’s great to see you regardless. Why are you leaving so soon?”
“Well… Uh… I forgot something somewhere?” C didn’t know just how much lying was acceptable to a pastor.
“Oh, is that right?”
C nodded. Well that wasn’t completely false she had left her phone in Trish’s car, George didn’t need to know the what and the where- for now she just needed to go.
“Well in that case how about I drop you off?” George said with a shrug.
“Um, no need. Bye” C dashed off before he had another chance to catch her. She needed to catch herself first as her mind was now doing an instant slow-motion replay of his hand holding hers. C ran, as far as she could she ran until her heeled legs couldn’t take it. She removed her carefully placed bracelet sat down on the grass at the side of the road and let H take over.
C had been fighting oh so well but now, in this moment she agreed- she needed to remember. Looking down at her wrist she looked at the tattoos so beautifully and intentionally placed to cover up the scars that were beneath, scars that held tears of a broken defeated girl.
…..............................................................................
Back at the church mixer George stood at the exit for a second glancing in the direction that C had first walked and then bolted in.
“Now that is interesting” the sound of Dave’s mocking voice held in his ear as he hadn’t realized his best friend coming to stand right next to him.
“Knock it off man” George’s head was now back in reality.
Trish had said that she had a surprise for him today, he hadn’t expected C to be it. It had been a month since Trish had clued him in on what God had instructed her to do, it didn’t take much praying for him to join her. C was the definition of a pastor’s aptitude test. She hated church even though she had never been, she somehow knew she did not want to step foot into one. She cringed every time God was mentioned and more than that her mouth and eyes didn’t match up. Her mouth would say she was fine and happy. Her eyes however screamed help, there was unmistakable hurt hidden in the confines of her heart, a hurt that only God could heal.
George weaved his way through the members of the Churches youth ministry straight to Trish.
“Now you may have my job as long as you tell me how you managed to do that?”
“I haven’t the faintest idea what you are talking about” Trish batted her eyes and continued serving juice into clear cups on the refreshments table.
“Seriously Trish, what line did you use? Did you say you were going to an antiques exhibit?” George said jokingly them both knowing that her job was all the personal information C would share.
“Oh good one, I should have thought of that.” Trish giggled.
“So what did you say? Please don’t tell me you lied to the poor girl”
“Well, I just asked if she’d like to come to an event I had planned without giving out the exact details of what it was”
“Huh” shocked at the simplicity George's head nodded slightly.
“Now should we go to Pastor Steve’s office and sign the necessary documents?”
“Say what?”
“I’m just kidding, you know once they start crying I hand them over to you. I really have no heart to be a Pastor’s wife. All those souls to take care of, I’d rather just be the fisher and leave the cleaning and grooming up to you guys with a call for it.”
“Hehe, then you better hurry up and find me one to help with the load instead”
“Hmm, last I checked the verse was ‘He who finds..’ emphasis on the he. Finding her is your job Pastor George” Trish’s sly eyes sent them both into laughter. “Speaking of her, where is C?”
“Oh, she left- or more accurately ran off.”
“Ran? In those stilettoes? Now that girls got to give me some lessons.” Trish was too impressed to be worried.
“Let’s just say it was indeed a sight”
“Do you need help plucking out those eyes George?”
“Not in that way, come on- really? She just seemed so scared, it literally seemed like a gazelle running from a pack of lions.”
“Well church is a comfort for some, a nightmare for others.” Trish sighed.
The truth of those words cut at Georges heart. He tried tirelessly to make the house of God seem less menacing to the people he evangelized to but that task was becoming increasingly hard.
“Oh snap, I have her phone. She couldn’t have gotten that far on foot right? Let me go and pick her up. Kindly wrap up things here for me?” Trish put down the ladle she had been scooping with.
“Her phone? Wow, Paul would be proud!” George chuckled. There was no telling the lengths Trish would go to when it came to reaching out to unbelievers. A fact that was both reassuring and scary.
“For indeed they were caught with trickery” Trish winked at George as she dashed out.
…..............................................................................
Trish chatted with a few people on her way out not wanting to let C walk too far out. It had indeed been an interesting few weeks since the day of the accident on which George had called her wanting more information on her interior designer. She felt like this was the break that she had being praying for. Reaching out to C was indeed one of the hardest tasks Trish had had in a while and was hopelessly failing at it. All their conversations had been about work till date and due to C’s efficiency that window was about to close too.
Trish had prayed to God that if He really wanted her to do this He’d have to open another door for her into C’s life. The next day the call came from George and Trish felt as if God was saying “here you go girl, no more excuses”. On that day Trish resolved to put away her inhibitions and obey whole heartedly. Trish smiled as she remembered C’s stunned face as she stood in her doorway in her pajama’s clearly not expecting or welcoming any company.
Trish had teamed up with George and after weeks of daily visits C was not exactly opening up but not running away either. It had been a
carefully worded invitation that had led to todays event.
Ducking away expertly, Trish was determined to get to her car without Mrs. Oloo seeing her. The last thing she wanted to hear today was “So when are you finally getting married sweetheart?” a tired question that she had tired of answering.
Slow paced she drove her car while keeping a watchful eye on the sidewalks looking for C. The car came to a halt as she inspected the curled-up lady who was sitting on the side of the road. Indeed it was C, her eyes were swollen and red with her cheeks tear stained- Trish would have passed her if it wasn’t for the black dress she was wearing. This morning Trish had almost asked C if she’d be comfortable in it but not wanting to give any hints as to where they were going she said nothing hoping she wouldn’t feel too awkward.
C was shivering, not that it was a cold day but the girl was shaking like a leaf. Trish parked her car on the side of the road, grabbed a coat she kept in her back seat and ran over to her. On approach she saw beads of sweat coming down from C’s head, she was staring down at the ground not at all aware of Trish’s presence. Trish slowly hugged C’s back with the coat and whispered into her ear “Shhhh, it’s going to be okay. It’s all going to be fine”.
Trish sent up a silent prayer cementing these words, she had no idea what was happening to C at the moment but what was apparent was that whatever it was seemed to be happening in her mind. Trish kept in position holding with increasing tightness as if calling C back to her.
“Ouch, you can loosen your grip Trish” C said as she gave Trish a look that shouted ‘leave me alone’ which Trish did immediately.
“Did you really think you’d make it back to your house in those heels girl?” Trish asked to lighten the atmosphere.
“Well at least I tried” C mumbled
“Seriously? Was it that bad?”
“Well… yes?”
Trish had no defense for that open honesty so she simply picked up C’s discarded heels and lead her to the car.
“And how come no one told me that George was a Pastor?!”
“’Cos we knew you’d react like this” now it was Trish’s turn to mumble, something she didn’t do very well. “It’s just, we really wanted to get to
know you without the titles”
“Get to know me? And why would that be? Cut to the chase already Trish, what do you guys want from me?” H took over wanting to be done with Trish once and for all.
“Nothing but to be your friend”
“Don’t you have each other? Isn’t that enough for you?”
“Calm down C, it’s not that deep”
“No let’s get to it, I’m tired of people coming into my life unclear of their intentions and taking everything as collateral. I am not about to just watch you treat me as you please so please clearly state what you and George are doing? Or was it that you saw me coming to the wedding with no date? Did that mean I was lonely in your books? Just because you two are together doesn’t mean that that’s everyone’s desired state.”
“Wait, hold up right there. You think George and I are dating?”
“Isn’t it obvious, he practically lives at your house” C stated matter-of-factly.
“Oh sweetie that’s because we’re cousins!”
C had let H take over but this fact had her wanting to claim the driver’s seat again. This was how H always acted whenever anyone tried to get close to her. She was cautious, she ran from pain as a preventative measure always anticipating it on the other side. That is all H had kept within her, or more accurately what C had buried inside H.
But now, knowing that Trish and George were not a couple somehow chipped off a piece of the perfect life she had assumed that Trish was living. It dimmed down some of the lights that C’s eyes had placed around her, soothed some of the envy she had held towards her and also made C’s heart beat just a little faster- not that she’d ever admit it.
C dug her nails into her palm with determination, wanting to undo the damage H had done. Her heart spilled out its secrets without permission on occasion, but that is why she had started fighting in the first place- she no longer wanted darkness as a best friend. She was desperate for even just a flicker of light, a glimmer of hope. And for some strange reason she thought she saw it in Trish.
“Wow, now that was awkward” C tried to ease the situation.
“No worries, I can understand your assumption.”
“Thanks for inviting me today though, I just didn’t fit well with that crowd.”
“No worries dear, I know going to a place where you know only two people can be a bit overwhelming. But I hope you do know that you are welcome there absolutely anytime”
“Certainly not in this outfit”
“Well in any outfit that you so choose darling. And I’m so sorry for making you feel out of place.”
“It wasn’t you really.”
Trish parked outside C’s house, the drive had indeed been interesting.
“Hey, how about I make it up to you with coffee tomorrow?”
“Why not.” C shrugged and opened the car door to leave.
C entered her house without looking back. She had gone deep into the darkness today, a darkness that she had been fighting hard to run from. Running in a seemingly endless tunnel, endless until she heard Trish whisper ever so softly “Jesus, save her” and with those words a small dot sized but noticeable light started to flicker at the end. Not knowing what to make of it she decided not to think too deeply. But anything that could keep her from getting any more strategic tattoos or hospital visits she was welcome to try.
…..............................................................................
Trish watched C enter her house quickly, still slightly amused by the assumption she had made. On her drive back home she reflected on what she saw, a shivering girl who was protecting herself from within. Her eyes filled with tears, she quickly wiped them away not wanting them to interfere with her driving and resolved to pray.
“Dear Lord, I have no idea the amount of hurt that C holds on the inside of her. But I do know what your word says which is that you are the healer of the broken hearted. Holy Spirit you are a comforter. So God of comfort, please send your ministering angels to C right now and comfort her. And also Lord, do a miraculous work in her life- Father heal her broken heart.”
Trish reached home and got into her pajamas only to be greeted by a call that she had been dreading, it was Mrs. Oloo:
“Hello Trish, I’m so glad I finally caught you”
“Hey Mrs. Oloo, so good to hear from you”
“I didn’t see you at the mixer today”
“Oh is that right, well something came up and I had to leave early. Did you have a good time though?”
“Lovely indeed. You know I was just telling Steve how wonderful it is to see you using your organizing skills for the glory of God.”
“The honour is all mine to serve God in that way”
“Yes indeed it is, also I was hoping to introduce you to someone today as well”
“Oh is that so Mrs. Oloo”
“Come on dear, you know you don’t have to be so formal with me.”
“Oh yes of course” Trish rolled her eyes. Honestly she loved Carol but she took her role as a ‘matchmaker’ way to seriously.
“Hehe, he’s a nice guy – moved here not too long ago. He’s a doctor who often does missionary work in needy countries”
“Caroline, let me stop you right there. Thank you so much for thinking of me but I really didn’t feel like it today.” Trish sighed as she broke it down to Carol. Her heart and intentions were always the best, but her approach wasn’t.
“Well that’s understandable dear, it has probably been a long day for you. By the way I remember that you were to bring a guest today right.
Was she that shy looking girl who ran when she saw George?”
“She ran when she saw George?”
“Yeah, black dress and pretty”
“Yup that was her indeed, sorry I couldn’t introduce you two.”
“Well, all things happen in their appointed time dear. I’ll meet her soon enough.”
“Carol, could you actually help me pray for her? I just really feel like she has got issues only God can solve.”
“We’ve all got some of those, but indeed I’ll pray dear.”
“Thanks so much.”
“God bless you and have a good night dear.”
“Same to you Carol”
Trish knew she could count on Caroline Oloo to pray- she was indeed the definition of a prayer warrior. Happy that she had also averted another one of Mrs. Oloo’s picks for her she gleefully tucked herself into bed and slept soundly.