The task requested of me is one that gets my mind churning on thoughts and ideas pertaining the subject of this article; Fatherhood.
I have read vastly on the same, nibbled on the nuggets of wisdom therein and have consequently drawn a perspective of where this ship is sailing. Consider the various transitions a man faces in the course of his being. Childhood games he was the husband to the shy but aggressive girl with her doll tightly wrapped on her feeble back. He then transitions to the neighbourhood boys football team (ball made with paper and socks) where he proudly got dirty. The transitions continue on till his voice breaks, which is almost a prerogative for his hormonal transitions to kick in and suddenly he recognizes the opposite gender. It is here that his identity becomes a crucial part of his being as the tentacles of the society creep in to influence his decision making process. The strongest emerge forth from the latter stage and now get in the playing field of men, husbands, fathers and grandfathers. The Big Boys Club (BBC).
A father,
Among the many misconstrued words in our conversations today - father has been grossly manipulated and its meaning has since metamorphosed. Two viewpoints here I wish to present; first, we have boys instead of men bearing the weight of fatherly responsibilities that they have neither knowledge nor the spine to bear. Second, the societal suppositions of fatherhood that are absolutely differentiated by what the holy scriptures detail. Consequently, the blessing of fatherhood has been plagued with unending criticisms and unrealistic expectations so much that to adapt to the fast paced society, one needs to give up the ancient principles of fatherhood and join the wave of liberalism. Albeit the numerous notions hugely influencing many fathers, what really defines a father?
Studies (science and psychology) have proven that the presence of a male figure has a significant role to play not only in the corporate world but also in the family. Therefore, it is only fair that we do not view fatherhood merely as set of rules and responsibilities, but mostly about the individual. It is about the development of the person in the likeness of Christ. The bible does paint an exemplary picture of fatherhood both succinctly and extensively through the relationship between;
God and the believer,
God and His son, Jesus Christ
God and the Believer
But to as many as received him, to them he gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in his name (John 1:12)
Intimacy
Through the relationship depicted by God and the believer, the term Father denotes an intimate relationship. As opposed to the existing perceptions of emotionless fathers who are just present, it is evident from scripture that fatherhood is one of intimacy. In this case, the father is intimate with his children (believers) in the sense that there is a deep existing relationship that’s beyond expression.
Fatherhood consequently demands intentionality from the father to his children to know them and be known by them that an intimate relationship is developed and sustained to the old ages.
Providence
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things (Romans 8:32)
The relationship between God and believers is one of continual providences of love, grace and mercy in abundance. God is aware of our frailties and our weaknesses even as we grow in faith. In response he doesn’t leave us to ourselves instead He is with us through it all. Earthly fatherhood too requires that tokens of these great blessings be extended to the family for growth in the likeness of Christ.
Also, important to mention is financial provisions are equally as important and even biblical. However, over the past years this has been the measuring meter of what makes a father instead of the holistic perspective of what godly fatherhood is all about. God looks to make fatherhood a godly journey of faith in Him.
Fellowship.
We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ (1 John 1:3)
The attribute of fellowship between God and the believer is fundamental for a believer’s growth. Moments out with the Lord in fellowship edify the believer and strengthen them to face the issues of life. It is also of importance that the earthly father in seeking to show an example of his relationship with God the heavenly father, occasionally has fellowship with his children for encouragement to face challenges as they grow.
Sacrifice
The extent of fatherhood goes beyond personal securities and selfishness to lay down one’s life for them he loves. It cost God, God to save us from an eternity of damnation to a kingdom of light and heavenly inheritance. As a father, our lives are a ministry of sacrifice displaying the love of God to our children and laying down the extras for the sake of their well-being.
God and His Son Jesus Christ
Matthew 3:17 …and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
Affirmation
The first words uttered from heavens ushering Jesus to His ministry were words of affirmation. Twice did God say the same words to His Son also during His transfiguration. It was as if the task that waited upon him was enormous and therefore God His father publicly affirmed His Sonship before He began His earthly assignment. Isn’t that exceptional and challenging especially to godly fathers? How much more should earthly fathers affirm their children in sports, academics and even in the church! Affirmation is also necessary for good deeds and behaviour(s) to spur the children to biblical living.
Faithfulness
God the father brought His son from the dead in fulfilment to the promises He made through prophets before coming of the Messiah. God was faithful to His word to see that His son did not see corruption even after the death on a tree. The faithfulness of God to His son should influence the way godly fathers keep promises to their children in honouring God. Additionally, the Lord saw that His Son was trained in this through the blessing of His earthly father Joseph.
Fatherhood cannot be experienced or explained except from the lens of God the father, God the Son and the believer as has been explained in the premises above. Godly fatherhood is true fatherhood.
Pastor Gift Mwachofi