I’m Sorry Ms. 31
I tried so hard to achieve everything that you told me to be but unfortunately I was unable to attain the standards that you created for me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to sustain the pressure that came with you trying to fit into my reality. I’m sorry that the daggers that flung from your double-edged tongue didn’t chisel but wounded me.
I’m sorry that the congregation of you with other “Ms. 31’s” honestly frightened me as you amplify your slick tongue and fill the room with gossip and hear-says, discouragement and dismays on how we millennials are the most disappointing generation with no resilience or tenacity I’m sorry that my grace was insufficient to contain your continuous condemnation and I required temporal separation. I’m sorry that I didn’t comply to the notes you gave me at our last confrontation. I’m so sorry that I came to you with an expectation of love mentorship and guidance which must have been misguided because after all you are “Ms. 31”.
I’m sorry I confused you with the older women I was meant to run to for counsel as indicated in Titus 2, please do forgive me. I’m sorry that I took offence when you were only trying to build me, I’m sorry that I mistook your plain well-intentioned honesty. Like when you called me a prostitute for not conforming to your standards of modesty or when you called me loose when I came to you with a broken heart – how dare I think you’d comfort me. Or when I was struggling with my self-worth and identity but you said I was too subscribed to the ideals of society or when you called me a pervert when I was struggling with purity or demon possessed when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, just a few to mention Ms. 31 please do indeed forgive me.
But as I pen down this apology my question now becomes: were you really Ms. 31 or just the mirror of whom I expected her to be? And did your judgments really come from The True Word of God or were they your own culture lead, self-directed, tradition bred perceptions of whom I should be?
You know in all honesty A true “Ms. 31” has always been met with scarcity with her value exceeding that of rubies. Those whom she loves have full confidence in her and she lacks nothing of worth. She is diligent in her work, driven in goals, continuously stepping up: She sets the standard for others to level up. She knows how to love,care and compassion are her middle name and she does not see her femininity as a weakness but the double X-factor that changes the game. Her standard is excellence so if fame and success came as a consequence she would not break if the clout leaves or friends forsake her because she was not called to be a five minute phenomenon but a complete world changer.
She doesn’t just wake up flawless but also walks in purpose. Her head isn’t too hard for wisdom to penetrate in to. She speaks words seasoned with grace delivering soul food to the hearts of those she takes. She doesn’t need to fake it because she knows that she is by no means perfect with several heights yet to be attained so she dusts herself off when she falls, learns from her failures and with her shoes on point she gets back into the game. Seven times she may fall but stronger, wiser, bolder, braver- seven times SHE RISES AGAIN!
When faced with the setbacks and shake-ups of the world she tilt’s her head back and laughs. Because her knees don’t just get ashy from prayer but with worship as a weapon and the Word of God as her defense and foundation she faces life with determination in the process not smudging her make up because she has complete confidence and faith in her Maker God her Creator.
So, as I look at the “Ms. 31’s” that surround the image is indeed stunning, but I know that she is not just them but also fruit born from intentional growth and with every step the woman I’m becoming. No matter the words, hurt and blisters from our heel’s that we might incur, know that we were not created to be them but beauty beheld in the hands of the Master piece unfolding as each one of us become our own version of her – Ms. Proverbs 31!
Happy International Womens Day 2020
Creation was incomplete until you showed up - you're that important.
Keep Glowing up, Keep Stepping Up, Always Woman Up
And even if your crown shifts don't ever forget that you are a Queen.
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